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I Used to Go Here is an alleged comedy about a hack who admits that “I'm not good enough to write a good book so I wrote a sh*tty book.” Not only has this premise been lifted from a Family Guy episode, but the movie's sense of humor is half-assed at best (but what can you expect from producers Andy Samberg, Jorma Tacone, and Akiva Schaffer?). For example, there is a character named Bradley Cooper. That's it. That's the joke. What scriptwriter/director Kris Rey fails to see is that it's not enough to name a character after celebrity; you have to actually do something, go somewhere with it (I'm reminded of the 'Michael Bolton' character in Office Space). What's the point of naming the character Bradley Cooper if no one is ever even going to acknowledge it? You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, and when it never does, it becomes nothing more than an annoying distraction. Following the release of her new book, novelist Kate Conklin (Gillian Jacobs) receives an invitation from her former college professor, David Kirkpatrick (Jemaine Clement), to speak at her alma mater, the fictional Illinois University. Her novel is called Seasons Passed, and from its cover and what little we hear of it, it wouldn't be out of place in the Nicholas Sparks canon; that is to say, it's the kind of book that gets its author invited to Oprah, not to a higher learning institution. Kate accepts the invitation, and “rediscovers her college, but now through the eyes of the students living there” (All Movie), in whose lives she “finds herself deeply enmeshed” (IMDb). Actually, what Kate "rediscovers" doesn't go much farther than the house where she herself lived as a student, and where she spends most of her stay; meanwhile, the current tenants drop everything (even intercourse, because what kind of college students would have sex when they could get involved in the depressing problems of a 35-year-old instead? The same kind of college students who are never seen attending any classes) to be at her beck and call. In a nutshell, Kate hijacks this group of supposed college students, spends a night with one of them, and then leaves without learning from or teaching them anything; she even turns down a teaching position at the university, though it's not clear what exactly would qualify her for that position in the first place.
The Wild Chicks are slowly growing out of their youthful gang years and have to face the worries of growing up on the sidelines of a big class trip before graduation.
Nicolas, an aimless adolescent who hasn't yet found his way in life leaves his grandparent's home, hitchhikes to a small town, and befriends, Charly an outspoken and slightly older prostitute, a red-headed beauty who appears to ply her trade in the same no-nonsense way she clears the breakfast dishes. She seems to find something endearing about Nicolas' mussed hair and dopey face, so she puts him up in the teeny trailer home that she maintains with such hilarious fussiness. As their unusual domestic arrangement evolves, each stumbles vulnerably into new emotional territory.
A mother and daughter dispute is resolved by the "Yaya sisterhood" - long time friends of the mother.
With their father away as a chaplain in the Civil War, Jo, Meg, Beth and Amy grow up with their mother in somewhat reduced circumstances. They are a close family who inevitably have their squabbles and tragedies. But the bond holds even when, later, male friends start to become a part of the household.
Shallow, rich and socially successful Cher is at the top of her Beverly Hills high school's pecking scale. Seeing herself as a matchmaker, Cher first coaxes two teachers into dating each other. Emboldened by her success, she decides to give hopelessly klutzy new student Tai a makeover. When Tai becomes more popular than she is, Cher realizes that her disapproving ex-stepbrother was right about how misguided she was - and falls for him.
Mario and Luigi, plumbers from Brooklyn, find themselves in an alternate universe where evolved dinosaurs live in hi-tech squalor. They're the only hope to save our universe from invasion by the dino dictator, Koopa.
A sister and brother face the realities of familial responsibility as they begin to care for their ailing father.
When Erik Stifler realizes that he's the only Stifler family member who might graduate high school a virgin, he decides to live up to his legacy. After some well-meaning advice from Jim's dad, Erik's ready to take his chances at the annual and infamous Naked Mile race, where his devoted friends and some uninhibited sorority girls will create the most outrageous weekend ever.
Erik, Ryan, and Cooze start college and pledge the Beta House fraternity, presided over by none other than legendary Dwight Stifler. But chaos ensues when a fraternity of geeks threatens to stop the debauchery and the Betas have to make a stand for their right to party.
A nutty inventor, his frustrated wife, a philosopher cousin, his much younger fiancée, a randy doctor, and a free-thinking nurse spend a summer weekend in and around a stunning - and possibly magical - country house.
Kingdom of Hungary, 17th century. As she gets older, powerful Countess Erzsébet Báthory (1560-1614), blinded by the passion that she feels for a younger man, succumbs to the mad delusion that blood will keep her young and beautiful forever.
