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The prologue recounts the legend of Flemish knight Charles Le Vaillant who, just after the Siege of Jerusalem at the end of the First Crusade, “was struck by the hypocrisy of killing fellow human beings in the name of religion [one has to wonder what exactly he imagined he and the other armed-to-the-teeth crusaders were going to do in the Holy Land]. Especially since these people professed belief in the same God [uh, no they didn’t].” Charles had an “epiphany, which became the basis for a new religious sect. An order that would combine the fundamental tenets of the three major religions of his day. His first converts were Christian knights who'd also become disenchanted by the bloodshed. The force of his convictions even won over a number of Muslims and Jews. Former enemies who now became willing converts to the new faith.” The script for The Order was co-written by Jean-Claude Van Damme, who according to Wikipedia has his own wacky religious notions (Christianity is wrong because "snakes are good" and "apples contain pectin, which is anti-cholesterol"); I want to believe that he and his co-writer Les Weldon are in on the joke, but whether or not they take this material seriously, the real probleem is that they don't really tap into the comedic potential of their premise. Specifically, the film should have been a mock 'biography' of Charles Le Vaillant, especially if he were to be played by JCVD; I have no doubt that Charles delivering sermons in Van Damme's frenchglish and casting pearls of wisdoms such as the ones quoted above might just be able to produce a new "Blessed Are the Cheesemakers". Sadly, JCVD and Weldon never really delve into this nameless religion known simply as The Order, thus missing out on what could have been a huge source of humor. Instead, the film skips to the present and introduces thief and smuggler Rudy Cafmeyer (Van Damme), who is in the process of stealing a Fabergé egg (presumably to sell it to "Bleeding Gums" Murphy). Rudy's father is archaeologist and museum curator Oscar 'Ozzie' Cafmeyer (Vernon Dobtcheff). Ozzie travels to Israel and is kidnapped while on the phone with Rudy, who then travels to Jerusalem himself to rescue dear old dad. There Rudy meets an old friend of his father, archeology professor Walt Finley (Charlton Heston. Really). This Heston cameo can only be explained as a manifestation of his then-incipient Alzheimer's; moreover, it's another wasted opportunity. The legendary actor would have been equally perfect in both the farcical sword-and-sandal epic that The Order could and should have been, and the Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade knock-off it ends up aspiring to be; in either case, though, he would have needed more screen time, and in the latter case, he should have had the role of Rudy's father. The rest is just standard JCVD, complete with a foot chase scene with Van Damme disguised as a Hasidic Jew, fleeing from and fighting Israeli police (how Rudy gets his costume, particularly the beard and curls, is a mystery; why not show him buying it in a souvenir shop, as if it was a set of Mickey Mouse ears at Disneyland?).
Sergeant Todd is a veteran soldier for an elite group of the armed forces. After being defeated by a new breed of genetically engineered soldiers, he is dumped on a waste planet and left for dead. He soon interacts with a group of crash survivors who lead out a peaceful existence. The peace is broken as the new soldiers land on the planet to eliminate the colony, which Sergeant Todd must defend.
A panda named Pancada, who works at a boxing club, wishes to become a dancer but gets caught up in an upcoming fight due to a case of mistaken identity.
A real-time account of the events on United Flight 93, one of the planes hijacked on 9/11 that crashed near Shanksville, Pennsylvania when passengers foiled the terrorist plot.
When CIA Analyst Jack Ryan interferes with an IRA assassination, a renegade faction targets Jack and his family as revenge.
A tough Russian policeman is forced to partner up with a cocky Chicago police detective when he is sent to Chicago to apprehend a Georgian drug lord who killed his partner and fled the country.
Conan is commissioned by the evil queen Taramis to safely escort a teen princess and her powerful bodyguard to a far away castle to retrieve the magic Horn of Dagoth. Unknown to Conan, the queen plans to sacrifice the princess when she returns and inherit her kingdom after the bodyguard kills Conan. The queen's plans fail to take into consideration Conan's strength and cunning and the abilities of his sidekicks: the eccentric wizard Akiro, the warrior woman Zula, and the inept Malak. Together the hero and his allies must defeat both mortal and supernatural foes in this voyage to sword-and-sorcery land.
An ancient Chinese artifact has been stolen by a villainous archaeologist named Dexter. With the help of his Lemming friends, Norm must keep his word and embark on a journey across the world to help recover the artifact for the people of China.
Cool government operative James Bond searches for a stolen invention that can turn the sun's heat into a destructive weapon. He soon crosses paths with the menacing Francisco Scaramanga, a hitman so skilled he has a seven-figure working fee. Bond then joins forces with the swimsuit-clad Mary Goodnight, and together they track Scaramanga to a Thai tropical isle hideout where the killer-for-hire lures the slick spy into a deadly maze for a final duel.
Russian and British submarines with nuclear missiles on board both vanish from sight without a trace. England and Russia both blame each other as James Bond tries to solve the riddle of the disappearing ships. But the KGB also has an agent on the case.
A newly-developed microchip designed by Zorin Industries for the British Government that can survive the electromagnetic radiation caused by a nuclear explosion has landed in the hands of the KGB. James Bond must find out how and why. His suspicions soon lead him to big industry leader Max Zorin who forms a plan to destroy his only competition in Silicon Valley by triggering a massive earthquake in the San Francisco Bay.
Bison, the ruthless leader of the international terrorist organization Shadowlaw, has been desperately searching for the greatest fighter on the planet for years. He finds it in Ryu, a young wanderer who never stays in one place long enough for Bison to find him. He does, however, get a fix on Ken Masters, an American martial arts champion who studied with Ryu as a child under the same master. Meanwhile, Major Guile of the United States Army is forced to team up with Chun Li from China in hopes of apprehending Bison and putting a stop his international ring of crime.
