HardManEli69: The Movie

On a remote Caribbean island, Army Ranger Joe Armstrong saves an old friend from the clutches of "The Lion", an evil super-criminal who has kidnapped a local scientist and mass-produced an army of mutant Ninja warriors.

In a cardboard forest, two stones argue.

A couple of robbers flee from the police after robbing a bank. Their car breaks down and they are picked up on the road by three touring musicians in their van. They stop in a forest for the night and decide that each musician has to tell a horror story by campfire light. The one who tells the bloodiest story will stay alive.

While his wife is away, Frederick Stumplefinger lets his kids go out jitterbugging on a school night, only to have his wife return early.

The simple story has the pair coming to the rescue of peace-loving Mormons when land-hungry Major Harriman sends his bullies to harass them into giving up their fertile valley. Trinity and Bambino manage to save the Mormons and send the bad guys packing with slapstick humor instead of excessive violence, saving the day.

Jonathan Ecks, an FBI agent, realizes that he must join with his lifelong enemy, Agent Sever, a rogue DIA agent with whom he is in mortal combat, in order to defeat a common enemy. That enemy has developed a "micro-device" that can be injected into victims in order to kill them at will.

When a team of techno-savvy thieves break into a high-security vault, they don't discover priceless works of art... they find a crypt unopened for 100 years.

When Ashtray moves to South Central L.A. to live with his father (who appears to be the same age he is) and grandmother (who likes to talk tough and smoke reefer), he falls in with his gang-banging cousin Loc Dog, who along with the requisite pistols and Uzi carries a thermo-nuclear warhead for self-defense. Will Ashtray be able to keep living the straight life?

If your enemy refuses to be humbled... Destroy him. Accompanied by his brother Kurt, American kickboxing champion Eric Sloane, arrives in Thailand to defeat the Eastern warriors at their own sport. His opponent: ruthless fighter and Thai champion, Tong Po. Tong not only defeats Eric, he paralyzes him for life. Crazed with anger, Kurt vows revenge.

In 1978, $20 million was stolen from a Detroit bank. One of the robbers was caught, one was found dead, and the third disappeared. The money was never found. Seven years later, the robber who was caught was released from jail. He immediately went to Miami, only to be found dead the next day. Now FBI agents Doug Bennet and Steve Forest have been called in to investigate the case while posing as Miami police officers. Somewhere in Miami the third robber is hiding with his $20 million, and he has a seven-year head start on the authorities.