War of the Worlds Extinction 2024 - Movies (Mar 28th)
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The Farmers Daughter 2025 - Movies (Mar 28th)
Dangerous Lies Unmasking Belle Gibson 2025 - Movies (Mar 28th)
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Bring Them Down 2024 - Movies (Mar 27th)
Love Hurts 2025 - Movies (Mar 27th)
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The House Was Not Hungry Then 2025 - Movies (Mar 27th)
One Million Babes BC 2024 - Movies (Mar 27th)
Through the Door 2024 - Movies (Mar 27th)
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England’s Lions The New Generation 2025 - Movies (Mar 26th)
The Last Keeper 2024 - Movies (Mar 26th)
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Mufasa The Lion King 2024 - Movies (Mar 25th)
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The One Show - (Mar 29th)
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Guest House Paradiso, then; a movie I bought for £1 at the local flea market, and which left me feeling ripped off for the entire pound. What started as a tired sequence of set pieces within the world's dreariest set (I'm sure that was the point, but still), involving Rik Mayall with his shirt tucked into his underpants (again), fighting aimlessly and endlessly with a vaguely embarrassed-looking (as well he should be, as the director) Adrian Edmondson whilst Bill Nighy watched on redundantly, morphed into an extended scene featuring a heavy-handed Vincent Cassel (what was he thinking??) attempting to rape his new "bride" whilst awaiting delivery of some prostitutes he'd ordered, and finally collapsed into a new nadir for cinema with a pea-green-soup puke-a-thon (starring Cassel, Simon Pegg and Fenella Fielding amongst others), with said substance filling rooms and corridors alike. I watched the "Making Of" featurette afterwards, and Rik Mayall explained that he and Adrian (the co-writers of this ****) had so many good ideas for the script that the initial read-through ran at almost three-and-a-half hours, forcing them to condense the gags down to "just the very best" ones. Jesus Christ, a puerile 8-man orgy of cartoon-style vomitus taking up at least the last 15 minutes of the film was one of the "very best" gags? Even judging that sequence by its own disgusting standards, it's been done better before (Monty Python's The Meaning of Life) and since (Team America: World Police). No, in this case it was a just bad gag, executed badly. Dreadful. And I'm not just snootily bemoaning Rik and Adrian's sophomoric tendency to rely on repeatedly hitting each other with large objects, Tom & Jerry-style. They've been doing that for years, to much greater effect (The Comic Strip Presents... Mr. Jolly Lives Next Door for instance was brilliant), but this is easily the poorest thing I've seen from either of them.
A young wizard accidentally conjures a spell that puts her family in jeopardy.
Stranded in Egypt, Bud and Lou find themselves in the buried tomb of a living mummy.
Ms. Byzantiou is a passionate writer who stays at the hotel “Paradise” together with other eccentric tenants. When the friend of a hotel boy, who is planning to marry a young tenant, arrives at the same time with a couple of newlyweds, Ms. Byzantiou is inspired to write about a dramatic love affair.
When KAOS develops a bomb that can dissolve all clothing, Maxwell Smart is brought in to foil the evil plot.
The lives of Stan Laurel (1890-1965) and Oliver Hardy (1892-1957), on the screen and behind the curtain. The joy and the sadness, the success and the failure. The story of one of the best comic duos of all time: a lesson on how to make people laugh.
A renowned New York playwright is enticed to California to write for the movies and discovers the hellish truth of Hollywood.
Modern Stone Age family the Flintstones hit the big screen in this live-action version of the classic cartoon. Fred helps Barney adopt a child. Barney sees an opportunity to repay him when Slate Mining tests its employees to find a new executive. But no good deed goes unpunished.
For four years, the courageous crew of the NSEA protector - "Commander Peter Quincy Taggart", "Lt. Tawny Madison and "Dr.Lazarus" - set off on a thrilling and often dangerous mission in space...and then their series was cancelled! Now, twenty years later, aliens under attack have mistaken the Galaxy Quest television transmissions for "historical documents" and beam up the crew of has-been actors to save the universe. With no script, no director and no clue, the actors must turn in the performances of their lives.
The trademark of The Phantom, a renowned jewel thief, is a glove left at the scene of the crime. Inspector Clouseau, an expert on The Phantom's exploits, feels sure that he knows where The Phantom will strike next and leaves Paris for the Tyrolean Alps, where the famous Lugashi jewel 'The Pink Panther' is going to be. However, he does not know who The Phantom really is, or for that matter who anyone else really is...