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_**No-holds-barred send-up of Indiana Jones with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone**_ In the early 1900s a beautiful blonde, Jesse Huston (Sharon Stone), hires white hunter/adventurer Allan Quartermain (Richard Chamberlain) to find her father who went missing during his expedition to find the fabled King Solomon’s Mines in southeast Africa. Herbert Lom and John Rhys-Davies are on hand as heavies. Many moons ago I saw clips of “King Solomon’s Mines” (1985) and wrote it off as a campy knockoff of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981), which of course was hugely successful and inspired several immediate imitations, like “Romancing the Stone” (1984) and “Firewalker” (1986). I thankfully finally decided to give it a chance because, while it IS a knockoff of “Raiders,” it’s the best I’ve seen so far. It’s at least as entertaining as “The Mummy” (1999), albeit not a blockbuster like that film. Before you check it out, you have to be braced for a Grade B send-up with the corresponding preposterous frolics. Yes, it’s like Indiana Jones, but more over-the-top with a lower budget. If you can get on board, this is a wildly entertaining fun-adventure flick that’s colorful, cartoonish and thrilling with impressive African locations. It bends over backwards to amuse with Victoria Falls, jungle portages, market-place romps, steam-engine escapades, wild animals (lions, crocs, snakes and a colossal spider), threatening cannibals, a hideous witch-queen, deadly swamps, hellish caves and more. I should add that the spider is only a few notches above the ultra-cheese you’d see on Gilligan’s Island. On the female front, Stone is stunning before she became famous and I’m not even a fan. The creators don’t fail to display her beauty in a tasteful way as her shorts get shorter and shorter. She has magnificent legs. The film runs 1 hour, 40 minutes, and was shot in Zimbabwe. GRADE: B+
H. Rider Haggard's "She" and "King Solomon's Mines" novels have proved the inspiration for loads of action adventures over the years, but I doubt even he would appreciate this derivative effort. In a style that's more akin to "Carry on Quatermain", we meet "Jesse" (Sharon Stone) who is trying to track down her lost long father. He set off into the jungles of ancient Sheba trying to find the legendary mines full of jewels. She engages the help of the legendary hunter "Quatermain" (Richard Chamberlain) and off they set on their quest. Meantime, the megalomanic Bosch colonel "Bockner" (Herbert Lom) has engaged the services of the duplicitous "Dogati" (John Rhys-Davies) for exactly the same purpose - and so it's a race! To be fair to Chamberlain, though a hero in the style of Stewart Granger, Harrison Ford or Sir Cedric Hardwicke he isn't, he does look like he's enjoying himself here in this mess of film as he chucks his dynamite hither and tither. Lom is also hamming it up as if he were back in his full "Pink Panther" pomp, but it's Stone who really let's the side down. She just doesn't seem to enter into the spirit of this romp at all enthusiastically. She's not got the enthusiasm of a Karen Allen nor the slightly aloof dignity of a Deborah Kerr and really contributes very little. JR-D is always in hIs element with these kind of roles and takes to it like a croc to water; a considerably more animated one than the actual ones we see that mix archive ferociousness with real time valerian. It hits the ground running with loads of adventures, but the CGI is pretty obvious before a denouement that's just crying out for a song. It's entertaining, in a perverted sort of fashion, but could never be described as good.
Heli Valkonen is desperately in love with her husband. But Matti is just not in the mood. He is only interested in playing computer games, dressed in worn out fleece pants. For him, a shoulder massage is the highest form of intimacy. When subtle hints, nice words and fetching clothes won't help, Heli resorts in direct, and increasingly direct action - in vain.
An American family moves in to the Canterville Chase, a London mansion that has been haunted by ghost Sir Simon De Canterville for 300 years.
Based on the popular books, the story tells of Tony who wants a friend to add some adventure to his life. What he gets is Rudolph, a vampire kid with a good appetite. The two end up inseparable, but their fun is cut short when all the hopes of the vampire race could be gone forever in single night. With Tony's access to the daytime world, he helps them to find what they've always wanted.
Peter Miles stars as Tom Tiflin, the little boy at the heart of this John Steinbeck story set in Salinas Valley. With his incompatible parents - the city-loving Fred and country-happy Alice - constantly bickering, Tom looks to cowboy Billy Buck for companionship and paternal love.
Charley Varrick robs a bank in a small town with his friends, but instead of obtaining a small amount of money, they discover they stole a very large amount of money belonging to the mob. Charley must now come up with a plan to not only evade the police but the mob as well.
Everyone deserves a great love story, but for 17-year-old Simon Spier, it's a little more complicated. He hasn't told his family or friends that he's gay, and he doesn't know the identity of the anonymous classmate that he's fallen for online.
Flanders, Hispanic Monarchy, 1616. The inhabitants of the small town of Boom are busy organizing the annual local festivities when the arrival of the Duke of Olivares, who rules the country on behalf of the King Philip III of Spain, is announced. While the male citizens cowardly surrender to panic like rats on a sinking ship, the brave female citizens, led by the bold wife of the burgomaster, decide to become the best hosts the Spaniards can ever meet.
An adaptation of Jon Krakauer's best selling book, "Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mt. Everest Disaster". This movie attempts to re-create the disastrous events that took place during the Mount Everest climb on May 10, 1996. It also follows Jon Krakauer throughout the movie, and portrays what he was going through while climbing this mountain.
Accident prone teenager, Percy discovers he's actually a demi-God, the son of Poseidon, and he is needed when Zeus' lightning is stolen. Percy must master his new found skills in order to prevent a war between the Gods that could devastate the entire world.
The protagonist is Carmen X, a sexy female member of a terrorist gang. She asks her uncle Jean, a washed-up film director if she can borrow his beachside house to make a film with some friends, but they are in fact planning to rob a bank. During the robbery she falls in love with a security guard. The film intercuts between Carmen's escape with the guard, her uncle's attempt to make a comeback film, and a string quartet attempting to perform Beethoven.