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**By: Louisa Moore / www.ScreenZealots.com** _This film was screened at Fantastic Fest_ Fans of the Motern Media crew, who have a cult internet following, are the target audience for co-writer and director Charles Roxburgh‘s “Heard She Got Married.” The folks behind this film have a cult internet following, churning out completely homemade and self-funded movies for their select group of aficionados. I don’t think there is much appeal beyond this limited audience (although the director’s second Fantastic Fest entry “Magic Spot” fares better). Described as a “suburban noir thriller” by co-writer and star Matt Farley (I do applaud and appreciate his skill in the marketing department), the film tells the story of washed-up musician Mitch Owens (Farley) who has returned home and finally meets his new neighbor, a former bass player and now mailman, Van Hickman (Chris Peterson). Van tells Mitch about his delicious homemade hot dogs and a set of mysterious nude photos that were sent as a welcome gift. Sensing something is off, Mitch grows suspicious and is determined to figure out exactly what is going on. To reveal more would offer spoilers, but this film is more ominous than silly. As with Farley’s other films, this one features a cast of non-actors and is choppy all around. The pacing is also extremely slow and stagnant. I know it’s not easy to make a movie and I appreciate that fact, but just the act of investing time, blood, sweat, tears, and money into one doesn’t make it good, fun to watch, or successful. My initial reaction to “Heard She Got Married” is that it is a film that will not prove interesting to anyone outside of friends and family of the cast and crew. Apparently, I am mistaken. The filmmaker and his buddies have a cult-like following for a reason I cannot understand. I did not like this film as much as “Magic Spot,” which is far better. But that’s not saying much.
Ronald Perkins builds an army of 14 people brainwashed through cult-like methods to protect him from his parents' killers. When Perkins is imprisoned, the police unwittingly unleash his followers on a small town and they've only got one thing on their mind: "Kill for Mr. Perkins."
The tranquility of a small town is marred only by sheriff Tod Shaw's unsuccessful courtship of widow Ellen Benson, a pacifist who can't abide guns and those who use them. But violence descends on Ellen's household willy-nilly when the U.S. President passes through town... and slightly psycho hired assassin John Baron finds the Benson home ideal for an ambush.
Starting as an old-school sleuth story, young Noreen begins investigating the suspicious circumstances surrounding her father's death, uncovering a shocking and sinister conspiracy that has been wreaking havoc in her hometown for years.
Shy, straight-A student Ellie is hired by sweet but inarticulate jock Paul, who needs help wooing the most popular girl in school. But their new and unlikely friendship gets tricky when Ellie discovers she has feelings for the same girl.
Thief Gaston Monescu and pickpocket Lily are partners in crime and love. Working for perfume company executive Mariette Colet, the two crooks decide to combine their criminal talents to rob their employer. Under the alias of Monsieur Laval, Gaston uses his position as Mariette's personal secretary to become closer to her. However, he takes things too far when he actually falls in love with Mariette, and has to choose between her and Lily.
Two musicians witness a mob hit and struggle to find a way out of the city before they are found by the gangsters. Their only opportunity is to join an all-girl band as they leave on a tour. To make their getaway they must first disguise themselves as women, then keep their identities secret and deal with the problems this brings - such as an attractive bandmate and a very determined suitor.
Career criminal Johnny Clay recruits a sharpshooter, a crooked police officer, a bartender and a betting teller named George, among others, for one last job before he goes straight and gets married. But when George tells his restless wife about the scheme to steal millions from the racetrack where he works, she hatches a plot of her own.
A retired San Francisco detective suffering from acrophobia investigates the strange activities of an old friend's wife, all the while becoming dangerously obsessed with her.
The mostly true story of the legendary "worst director of all time", who, with the help of his strange friends, filmed countless B-movies without ever becoming famous or successful.
When their car crashes, 4 college kids seek help in Emeryville - a dilapidated village. New comers discover that place was once a ground for clinical experiments gone awry and plot an escape. They find themselves hunted by crazies.
After spending 20 years in prison, notorious villa thief Juan "el Candela" is released and reunited with his son Juan "el Chispa" and his friend Cristo. While "el Candela" tries to adapt to the new world he finds himself in, his son plans to raise money to fulfil his musical dream, using his father as a reference.