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I have always been a bit of a sucker for disaster movies but there’s really not many around these days. So when the Blu-ray for this one popped up on my radar I decided to give it a go. I was a bit hesitant since it was Chinese but I have quite enjoyed some movies from “unusual” countries, like Bãhubali from India so I thought I would give this one a shot. The sure as hell have enough money to pour into their film industry after all. Boy was I wrong. The bullshit on the Blu-ray packaging claims it is made by the same people that made Tomb Raider and The Expendables 2. If that is true I don’t think they had much say in the production. The probably just loaned their names to it. Hollywood has a habit of selling out to China nowadays after all. The acting is absolutely abysmal. Not only from the main actors but I wonder if they even bothered to instruct the extras as to what they were supposed to do or just told them run around like idiots. The plot is more or less recycled. I was expecting that but I was hoping for some small piece originality but no. Some stunts are just nonsensical. Jumping between cable cars like five meters apart? I guess those tourists where professional athletes. You cannot drive that fast backwards. Apart from not really being humanly possible to control the car the transmission will simply not allow it. Apparently surveillance drones in China are capable of blowing up entire water stations. Then we have the obligatory scene where someone floats around on something, in this case a car, on flowing magma. Magma is between 700 and 1300 degrees hot. You do not float around on it without getting carbonized for fuck sake. Also, why did that water station have a really modern control room with control panels except that the one switch our amateur heroes just happened to have to flick was a huge bloody lever a’ la Flash Gordon in the middle of the machine room? I did not have high hopes for this movie really but I though I could at least enjoy the special effects. Not even those measured up. A few where decent but most of them where mediocre at best and some really bad. Overall the film was so bad that I just couldn’t watch it without trying to find something else to do so I opened my laptop and wrote this review while watching it. Well, that was a waste of my time indeed. No more Chinese movies for me for a while. They certainly do not have the staying power of their viruses.
Morgan Adams and her slave, William Shaw, are on a quest to recover the three portions of a treasure map. Unfortunately, the final portion is held by her murderous uncle, Dawg. Her crew is skeptical of her leadership abilities, so she must complete her quest before they mutiny against her. This is made yet more difficult by the efforts of the British crown to end her pirate raids.
The King of Far Far Away has died and Shrek and Fiona are to become King & Queen. However, Shrek wants to return to his cozy swamp and live in peace and quiet, so when he finds out there is another heir to the throne, they set off to bring him back to rule the kingdom.
Aliens have landed and are hiding on Earth, but need Earth’s scientists to help them fight an inter-planetary war.
A world of the very near future in which cattle, fish, and even the family pet can be cloned. But cloning humans is illegal - that is until family man Adam Gibson comes home from work one day to find a clone has replaced him. Taken from his family and plunged into a sinister world he doesn't understand, Gibson must not only save himself from the assassins who must destroy him to protect their secret, but uncover who and what is behind the horrible things happening to him.
A young terrorist kills and injures patrons of a Norfolk amusement park by placing homemade explosives on the track of one of its roller coasters. After staging a similar incident in Pittsburgh, he sends a tape to a meeting of major amusement park executives in Chicago, demanding $1 million to make him stop.
In the year 2022, a ruthless prison warden has created the ultimate solution for his most troublesome and violent inmates: Absolom, a secret jungle island where prisoners are abandoned and left to die. But Marine Captain John Robbins, convicted of murdering a commanding officer, is determined to escape the island in order to reveal the truth behind his murderous actions and clear his name.
Inter-tribal rivalry leads to a competition to erect a huge statue (moai) in record time before Make can take part in the race to retrieve the egg of a Sooty Tern. The reward for winning this race is to rule the island for one year.
A young girl inhabits an isolated island with her scientist father and communicates with a reclusive author of the novel she's reading.
Alex, Marty, and other zoo animals find a way to escape from Madagascar when the penguins reassemble a wrecked airplane. The precariously repaired craft stays airborne just long enough to make it to the African continent. There the New Yorkers encounter members of their own species for the first time. Africa proves to be a wild place, but Alex and company wonder if it is better than their Central Park home.
Ex-government operative Bryan Mills finds his life is shattered when he's falsely accused of a murder that hits close to home. As he's pursued by a savvy police inspector, Mills employs his particular set of skills to track the real killer and exact his unique brand of justice.
At the opening party of a colossal—but poorly constructed—skyscraper, a massive fire breaks out, threatening to destroy the tower and everyone in it.