Jesus Hates Zombies

Ash, a handsome, shotgun-toting, chainsaw-armed department store clerk, is time warped backwards into England's Dark Ages, where he romances a beauty and faces legions of the undead.

British estate agent Renfield travels to Transylvania to meet the mysterious Count Dracula, who is interested in leasing a castle in London. After Dracula enslaves Renfield and drives him to insanity, the pair sail to London together and Dracula, a secret vampire, begins preying on London socialites.

While attending a festival to commemorate the original zombie attack, Ash and her friends encounter the living dead and must fight back or be devoured.

When foreman Frank shows new employee Freddy a secret military experiment in a supply warehouse in Louisville, Kentucky, the two klutzes accidentally release a gas that reanimates corpses into flesh-eating zombies. As the epidemic spreads throughout the town, and the creatures satisfy their hunger in gory and outlandish ways, Frank and Freddy fight to survive with the help of their boss and a mysterious mortician.

For cynical tabloid journo Richard Dees, facts are always stranger than fiction. Every headline is a dead-line. Serial killers, UFO abductions, tales of molestation, mayhem and murder. To some the tales are mere sleazy fantasy – but his faithful readers believe. And now there's a new story: The Night Flier. What is it that travels by night in a dark-winged Cessna, lands at secluded airfields and murders local residents? Dees begins to track the unknown killer in a Cessna of his own, uncovering clues that reveal a pilot more terrifying than he could have ever imagined.

Out-of-luck coach Lambeau Fields takes a rag-tag bunch of college misfits and drives them towards the football championships. In the process, this life-long loser discovers that he is a winner after all by redeeming himself, saving his relationship with his family and friends, and finding that there is indeed, no "I" in "team"!

Once again tampering with mother nature to disastrous results, Dr. Herbert West continues his research while serving time in a maximum security prison for his previous exploits. West's limited prison-cell experiments are suddenly interrupted by the arrival of a new prison doctor and the brother of the girl who suffered from West's experiments 13 years earlier.

After 300 years of slumber, three sister witches are accidentally resurrected in Salem on Halloween night, and it is up to three kids and their newfound feline friend to put an end to the witches' reign of terror once and for all.

The Freeling family move in with Diane's mother in an effort to escape the trauma and aftermath of Carol Anne's abduction by the Beast. But the Beast is not to be put off so easily and appears in a ghostly apparition as the Reverend Kane, a religeous zealot responsible for the deaths of his many followers. His goal is simple - he wants the angelic Carol Anne.

Brothers John and Matt have inherited an island cabin from their recently deceased uncle. Along with Matt's girlfriend, Nicki, and other mutual friends, the siblings travel to the cabin for a relaxing weekend getaway. But, not long after arriving, the group is besieged by ravenous dogs. They watch in horror as another vacationer, Luke, is eaten alive. Soon, they discover a training facility where the dogs have been bred to kill.

At the behest of Roger Dorn - the Minnesota Twins' silver-tongued new owner - washed-up minor league hurler Gus Cantrell steps up to the plate to take over as skipper of the club's hapless farm team. But little does he know that Dorn has an ulterior motive to generate publicity with a grudge match between the big leaguers and their ragtag Triple A affiliate.