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The One Show - (Mar 29th)
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I'd forgotten that Ernie Wise fancied himself as a bit of a crooner, but not for long as his opening title song - "Riv-yerra Touch" sets the cat-sat-mat style of lyrical tone for this really rather ordinary comedy. He and Eric Morecambe are traffic wardens who accidentally try to put a parking ticket on the mother of all British VIPs. They reckon it's best to get out of there and so head to the Cöte d'Azur for an holiday. Before they even get through the douanier, their dilapidated old motor has been marked to be part of an operation to smuggle some valuable jewels out of the country. Paul Stassino ensures that his glamourous sidekick "Claudette" (Suzanne Lloyd) captivates the two gullible Brits and as they settle into their villa, they become easy marks for the criminals. Well that's the plan, anyway, but as the plot develops and the body count mounts (and disappears) the police and the tourists become a little more wise to events - but can they thwart the cunning plans of "le Pirate"? There are fleeting moments when the chemistry between these two men shines through, and there is the odd one-liner to raise a smile, but for the most part this just looked like an excuse for everyone to head to the Med and have an holiday. The scenario is contrived and there's more than a little of the "Carry On" too it, as the score helps reinforce the smuttily unfunny stereotypes of sex and language. It's not that it is dated, though it is, it's more that had you never seen their popular television shows in the UK, you might legitimately wonder why it had been made with this pairing at all - it's all so predictably flat. More entente banal than cordiale.
An old and poor couple, Charles and Lucie, scrape by working as a concierge and an untalented antique dealer, respectively. But one day, their dreary daily routine is disrupted by the surprising news that they have inherited a luxurious house in the South of France.
A World War II submarine commander finds himself stuck with a damaged sub, a con-man executive officer, and a group of army nurses.
In an ensemble film about easy money, greed, manipulation and bad driving, a Las Vegas casino tycoon entertains his wealthiest high rollers - a group that will bet on anything - by pitting six ordinary people against each other in a wild dash for $2 million jammed into a locker hundreds of miles away. The tycoon and his wealthy friends monitor each racer's every move to keep track of their favorites. The only rule in this race is that there are no rules.
Con artist Lawrence Jamieson is a longtime resident of a luxurious coastal resort, where he enjoys the lavish fruits of his deceptions - that is, until a competitor, Freddy Benson, shows up. When the new guy's lowbrow tactics impinge on his own sophisticated work and believing him to be the infamous conman 'The Jackal', Lawrence resolves to get rid of him. Confident of his own duplicitous talents, he challenges Freddy to a winner-takes-all competition: whoever swindles their latest mark, American heiress Janet Colgate, out of $50,000 first can stay, while the other must leave town.
An enigmatic tale of four people whose lives are intertwined by destiny are subject to the laws of fate. They discover that luck is something they cannot afford to be without as they gamble with the highest stakes possible in a deadly game from which only one of them will emerge intact.
A road trip to Los Angeles inadvertently leads a young man from Wyoming into a wild maze of psychotic hit-men, racy women, jewel thieves and a salsa band.
It was an ingenious enough plan: rob the Riviera Casino's count room during an Elvis impersonator convention. But Thomas Murphy decided to keep all the money for himself and shot all his partners, including recently-freed ex-con Michael Zane. With $3.2 million at stake, the Marshals Service closing in, Michael must track down Murphy.
The year is 2087, the setting is the moon. Pluto Nash, the high-flying successful owner of the hottest nightclub in the universe, finds himself in trouble when he refuses to sell his club to lunar gangster Mogan, who just happens to be helping the mysterious Rex Crater mastermind a plan to take over the entire moon.
Writer Alex Sheldon must finish his novel within a month. If he doesn't, he won't get paid. And, if that happens, angry Mafia types to whom he owes money will come looking for him. In order to expedite things, Alex hires typist Emma Dinsmore and begins dictating his novel. The book is about a doomed love affair between a character similar to Alex and a character named Polina Delacroix. But, as Alex falls for Emma, his work takes a different turn.
Rover, a street-smart dog owned by a Las Vegas showgirl is dumped off Hoover Dam by the showgirl's boyfriend. Rather than drowning, Rover winds up in your basic idyllic farm in a classic city-boy-in-country shtick.
After a successful robbery leaves famed thief Lupin the Third and his partner Jigen with nothing but a large amount of expertly crafted counterfeit bills, he decides to track down the forgers responsible—and steal any other treasures he may find in the Castle of Cagliostro, including the 'damsel in distress' he finds imprisoned there.