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It never manages to rise above its one trick. Nicolas Winding Refn directs and Mads Mikkelsen stars in this ponderous exercise in arty veneers. Refn boldly strips back the dialogue and plot to reveal a picture big on ideas but poor in execution. As the story plods along, stopping only briefly for some guttural violence now and then, it becomes evident that the makers have made a painfully boring movie. At first the drained out colour photography looks like a masterstroke of ethereal atmospherics, but this also wears off and only compounds the overall feeling of monotony that pervades the pic. Hugely disappointing venture from a director capable of so much more. 3/10
Twilight of the grim, grey… um… RELEASED IN 2009 and directed by Nicolas Winding Refn, "Valhalla Rising” takes place in the 11th century where a one-eyed mute thrall (Mads Mikkelsen) obtains his freedom in the Scottish Highlands and joins a band of Viking Christians on a voyage to the Holy Land to fight in the Crusades, but the expedition doesn’t go as planned. The movie definitely LOOKS and SOUNDS awesome with an ambient score reminiscent of Agalloch, but without the heavy riffing or manic drumming. It’s an artsy non-blockbuster with a tone akin to "Aguirre, The Wrath of God" (1972) and "Black Robe" (1991). “Apocalypto” (2006) is a good modern comparison, although the story isn't as compelling as “Black Robe” or “Apocalypto.” It has elements of “Apocalypse Now” (1979) but the thin story just isn’t anywhere near as fascinating. Still, it’s okay. There are some weak points, like the Viking chief saying "It's a river" when this would've been obvious about an hour earlier when the mist first cleared (aduh). I'm sure the director would chalk it up to artistic license. Another issue is that the film is slow with not enough events to justify its runtime. As such, we get needlessly drawn-out scenes like the discovery of fresh water (which was obvious from the get-go of the sequence). The whole episode could’ve been done in a third of the time given. THE MOVIE RUNS 1 hour, 33 minutes and was shot in Scotland. WRITERS: Refn, Roy Jacobsen and Matthew Read. GRADE: B INTERPRETATION ***SPOILER ALERT*** (Don’t read further unless you’ve seen the movie). The silent One-Eye is the incarnation of Odin. He is invincible and holds the power to see the future. He disdains the Christian Vikings who’ve usurped his influence over his people. He tests many in battle to see if they’re worthy, but finds none. Nevertheless, he sullenly sees his people off to their new (holy) land, America, where Scandinavians were the third most numerous immigrants. The Boy is a type of Thor, his son, who will sort of replace him in America once the grim god ironically sacrifices himself à la Jesus Christ.
Rubbish! A true waste of 90 minutes... and of Mads Mikkelsen! It evidently attempts similar as to what we would later see in 2022 with (the excellent) 'The Northman', though simply falls flat in every department for me. The whole production just looks so cheap and low-budget (which it wasn't), without even noting the (admittedly intended) pure misery of the look of it all too. Editing, notably with the needless chapter breaks, is also a negative. As mentioned already, a mute Mikkelsen is completedly wasted... may as well have cast Joe Bloggs. The rest of the cast have very little to work with either, though minutely interesting to see Gary Lewis and Jamie Sives involved. I wouldn't say anyone onscreen deteriorates the film (it does so itself), but they also don't do anything to improve it either. I was anticipating 'Valhalla Rising' to be an entertaining one. It wasn't. Thankfully they had the awareness (or were restricted?) in keeping it 'short' at 90 minutes... a dreary 90mins, albeit.
Eight people have to find their way out of a New York subway after being trapped following an earthquake.
A Russian and a German sniper play a game of cat-and-mouse during the Battle of Stalingrad in WWII.
Austin's hottest DJ, Jungle Julia, sets out into the night to unwind with her two friends Shanna and Arlene. Covertly tracking their moves is Stuntman Mike, a scarred rebel leering from behind the wheel of his muscle car, revving just feet away.
The story is set at the beginning of the 20th century in Sicily. Salvatore, a very poor farmer, and a widower, decides to emigrate to the US with all his family, including his old mother. Before they embark, they meet Lucy. She is supposed to be a British lady and wants to come back to the States. Lucy, or Luce as Salvatore calls her, for unknown reasons wants to marry someone before to arrive to Ellis Island in New York. Salvatore accepts the proposal. Once they arrive in Ellis Island they spend the quarantine period trying to pass the examinations to be admitted to the States. Tests are not so simple for poor farmers coming from Sicily. Their destiny is in the hands of the custom officers.
A New York nightclub manager tries to save his brother and father from Russian mafia hitmen.
When a woman's father goes missing, she enlists a local to aid in her search. The pair soon discover that her father has died at the hands of a wealthy sportsman who hunts homeless men as a form of recreation.
After proving himself on the field of battle in the French and Indian War, Benjamin Martin wants nothing more to do with such things, preferring the simple life of a farmer. But when his son Gabriel enlists in the army to defend their new nation, America, against the British, Benjamin reluctantly returns to his old life to protect his son.
Annie Wilson, young widow and mother of three, makes her living foretelling others' futures—though her own has become cloudier than even she can see. Threatened by a client's violent husband and plagued by visions of a missing local woman, Annie finds herself pulled into a thicket of lies and deception in which her extraordinary gift may ultimately get her killed.
A former gunslinger is forced to take up arms again when he and his cattle crew are threatened by a corrupt lawman.
With friends like these, who needs enemies? That's the question bad guy Porter is left asking after his wife and partner steal his heist money and leave him for dead - or so they think. Five months and an endless reservoir of bitterness later, Porter's partners and the crooked cops on his tail learn how bad payback can be.
A male prison escapee heads for his hidden loot, electronically attached to a female prisoner.