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**When in doubt - point a long stick toward the screen** These 3D ventures are amusing. Whenever the plot slows down a cast member randomly picks up a long stick and points it at the camera. This film is no exception. Whenever the plot crawls to snails pace characters start pointing long sticks at the camera for no apparent reason. Doing most of the long stick pointing here is Dennis Quaid and Bess Armstrong - she needs a _strong arm_ to pick random objects up and point them toward the camera as often as she does. - Potential Kermode
Yeah... not good. I don't dislike 'Jaws 3-D' as much as most evidently do, though. Dennis Quaid and Bess Armstrong are actually pleasant in terms of the cast, none of those behind them are anything worth noting but are somewhat serviceable. I will say I didn't enjoy the plot, but only because it lacked something worth watching - it's poor, not terrible. More of the shark was wanted, but I would personally say that about the preceding two films as well. Parts of this 1983 flick that are terrible, though, are the special effects, especially right at the end. There is also some poorly done green screen and it, clearly, has a dire cover. There's no doubting this being made was a cash grab, that's basically the only reason to ever go 3-D, but a cash grab doesn't necessarily mean it's an awful film; which this isn't, in my opinion. It's simply bad. The cover is hilariously awful though, granted.
Any fans of the original "Jaws" (1975), hell even of the sequel (1978) need not bother with this completely unrecognisable nonsense. Believe it or not, there is still one "Brody" - "Mike" (Dennis Quaid) who wants anything to do with the sea. His previous, death defying experiences haven't put him off! Anyway, he works at a newly opened sea world where a baby great white finds it's way in for a quick snack through a broken seagate. Where's mama, though? She can't be far away! The baby shark is captured, but swiftly dies and it is as if the big one knows, and let's just say she is seriously narked. Aside from some decent underwater photography, and some talented folks doing water-batics, it's a dreadful stain on the reputation of the franchise. The opening titles offer a clue to the 3-D effects, and I do recall sitting in the Odeon in Glasgow with my cardboard glasses on wondering what all the fuss was about 40 years ago. Now I know - it was all just a badly constructed, poorly acted gimmick that is as forgettable as it is terrible.
The owner of a coal mining operation, falsely imprisoned for fratricide, takes a drug to make him invisible, despite its side effect: gradual madness.
Kitty Carroll, an attractive store model, volunteers to become a test subject for a machine that will make her invisible so that she can use her invisibility to exact revenge on her ex-boss.
A fugitive, dangerous madman reaches an English village where he confronts his former partner who left him for dead in the jungle after their discovery of a diamond mine. When the former partner also claims to have since lost the mine and all its wealth, which he took all for himself, and though the partmer is still living in a state of luxury , the madman takes up an offer from a crazed scientist to make him invisible, something the scientist has already done with experimental animals, so that he can take revenge.
The Invisible Man's grandson uses his secret formula to spy on Nazi Germany in this comedy-thriller.
A young European boy living in San Francisco is reluctant to marry his long-term girlfriend because he wants to travel around the world first. His wealthy uncle agrees to send him on a global expedition aboard his ship, but en route the boy and his travelling companion are shipwrecked on a remote island, populated by countless prehistoric creatures as well as gold-hunting bandits.
A team of environmentalists, including a reporter, her camera man, and an environmentalist's famous girlfriend charter a boat and with the captain, sail to a military island. They suspect the island is hosting to illegal activities. Upon arrival, however, they find no one. They finally reach a deserted house, where they find Dr. Susan Richardson, who tells them that everyone on the island is dead, including her father. Richardson's team were working on a compound that could make edible plants grow to super size, however the military intervened with plans of their own. They wanted to test the compound's effects on animals, and proceeded to feed it to several komodo dragons and cobras.
A pathologist experiments with a deaf-mute woman who is unable to scream to prove that humans die of fright due to an organism he names The Tingler that lives within each person on the spinal cord and is suppressed only when people scream when scared.
A new team of paranormal researchers has come to the hotel to investigate its murder-soaked past; the puppets - led by a new member, Torch - shed some light on the matter, as they tunnel, burn, strangle and hook to survive.
Blade, Tunneler, and Pinhead go toe-to-toe with a team of terrifying, gremlin-like creatures known as "Totems" that are sent by the Egyptian demon Sutekh to recapture the magic stolen by Toulon.
Sutekh, the dark pharaoh from another dimension, sends his own puppet, Totem, to continue his quest to kill Rick and steal the magic which animates the puppets.
A sleazy producer develops a concept he dubs "blood surfing" - tossing bloody fish remains into the water to lure sharks and then surfing through the animals as they chomp about. Along with his camerawoman, the producer brings two thrill-seeking surfers to the coast of Florida to capture some gnarly footage. But, as they blood surf, they encounter something even more deadly: a colossal prehistoric crocodile intent on devouring them.