Taking Measurements

When a disc containing memoirs of a former CIA analyst falls into the hands of gym employees, Linda and Chad, they see a chance to make enough money for Linda to have life-changing cosmetic surgery. Predictably, events whirl out of control for the duo, and those in their orbit.

Failing cosmetics magnate Sally Fay will stop at nothing to possess the waters of the Steam Room to help lift her sagging empire. What she doesn’t count on is the Steam Room Guys banding together to thwart her evil plans.

Eddy and Patsy prepare to go on a skiing holiday to hopefully indulge in the jet-setting lifestyle of the international celebrity elite when Saffy is proposed to by her stuffy, upper-class boyfriend, Paolo. Eddy hits the slopes and has a near death experience where God appears to her and tells her it's not yet her time. When Eddy comes to, she waits for a sign that she should get involved in Saffy's wedding. As she returns to the house, it appears all hell has broken loose- relatives piling up, practically squatting, and Saffy about to lose her mind. Eddy calms her by throwing money at her as they bond together, planning Saffy's dream wedding. What could go wrong?

A bright high-school senior has her impending status as valedictorian jeopardized when her bitter history teacher, Mrs. Tingle, gives her a poor grade on a project. When an attempt to get ahead in Mrs. Tingle's class goes awry, mayhem ensues and friendships, loyalties and trust are tested by the teacher's intricate mind-games.

Two years ago, a young woman named Valerie was burned after entering a tanning salon. Now, Rhonda runs a local gym where all of a sudden, people are being murdered.

A dishonest businessman asks rich layabout Craig Blake to help him buy a gym, which will be demolished for a development project in Alabama. But after spending time with weightlifter Joe Santo and gym worker Mary Tate Farnsworth, Craig wants out of the deal. The property negotiations turn ugly, causing a brawl at the gym and a spectacle at a big bodybuilding meet, as Craig learns that it's not easy to turn your back on fair-weather friends.

Women are practically throwing themselves at Rich and he can’t seem to control himself. But he continually blames his penis, which seems to have a mind of its own. After ruining yet another promising relationship with Jamie, Rich has finally had enough and wishes his penis would just leave him alone. The next morning, Rich wakes up to find his wish has come true and his johnson is no longer on his body. Even worse, Rich is shocked to discover that his penis has taken human form...

Reclusive gym manager Lou falls hard for Jackie, an ambitious bodybuilder headed through town to Las Vegas in pursuit of her dream. But their love ignites violence, pulling them deep into the web of Lou’s criminal family.

Jati works out day and night to be like his idol, Joni Krakatau, a legend who stands atop the peak of success. When the more popular Abe stands in the way of his dream of becoming the best, Jati challenges him. As both men tear their muscle and dislocate their joints, they realize that success is not determined by who is the strongest, but who has the stronger determination to reach the top. With both men drenched in the pink goop of Joni Krakatau-branded protein shake, the whole gym goes into a frenzy in search of a true legend.

Leaving their hometown of Fulchester in the North of England, Sandra and Tracey head for the bright lights of London, shagging and boozing their way to fame and fortune.

The joys of 1960s modern education - as seen at a not-exactly-typical local comp.